


Lumos

by tee_the_missing_piece



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, New Beginnings, as in there's no actual drarry action, awesome Luna, but linny and romione are established af, it's sort of like a prelude, lumos, not really drarry, to what might happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 00:04:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18187253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tee_the_missing_piece/pseuds/tee_the_missing_piece
Summary: "Everyone's lumos is unique, Harry. Have you not noticed?"





	Lumos

Harry closed his eyes. The breeze drew patterns on his cheeks and trickled through his hair like fingertips. The quiet chatter and occasional laughter around him did not disturb his peace - if anything, it added to it. It felt like an age since he had felt so calm.

 

"This has been really nice, Harry!" His eyes opened and he grinned at Luna, sat next to him. She gave him a warm smile. "I'm sorry to bring it to an end so soon, but I need to find Ginny and ask her to cast me a Lumos so I can find the little grindylow sweater I lost under my bed this morning. It is so very dark down there!" She stood up and began to gather her things. "I'll see you later, Harry! Have a great day!"

 

"Yeah, you too Luna! Thanks for sitting with me. Good luck finding your, uh, sweater."

 

"Oh there's no need to thank me, it's a wonderful feeling, to be a friend!" with a wave and a smile, she turned and began to walk back to the castle.

 

Harry smiled to himself and stared out across the Great Lake. It had been nice, sitting here on the shores and talking to Luna. It felt like ages since he had just talked to someone - talked about anything and nothing and everything under the sun, without worrying about accidentally saying something insensitive or losing his temper. Both of which seemed to happen a lot these days.

 

But never with Luna.

 

Not that his other friends were a burden or anything. Not that he didn't want to spend time with them. Just, he'd been through a lot, and they'd been through a lot. And while it was nice to empathize and be empathized with, no one really understood. Not that he thought had it more difficult than others or anything, he had absolutely no right to think that way when so many people had lost so much more than he had, but still. He didn't know what to feel. The same old hugs and the same old reassurances could only go so far. And now he just sounded ungrateful.

 

It's just. He just couldn't accept that people thought he had done something good. Something great. Everyone seemed to think so - "You're great, Harry." "We love you Harry." " _Thank you_ , Harry." What had he done to deserve to be thanked? He had caused so much more pain and misery than he had done good. He didn't deserve these people's worship, or their love, or their gratitude. He didn't deserve any of this.

 

Harry sighed as he realized his face had morphed into the frown he almost always wore these days. There were just so many things to frown about.

 

But not with Luna. She just had... _something_ about her. You just couldn't stay unhappy around her. She had seen him brooding, sat herself down next to him, and was gushing about the puffskeins Hagrid had brought to show them in Care of Magical Creatures before Harry could say "Hello." He had talked with her for hours, about classes and friends and books and flowers her blossoming relationship with Ginny and little knitted grindylow sweaters ("They say it gets so very cold in the Forbidden Forest in winter, so I'm going to try and help them!") and so many other things. He had felt so relaxed and so free. It had been a long time since he had just let go of everything and allowed himself to laugh.

 

His frown softened into a small smile at the thought. He was so lucky to have friends.

 

It was many minutes later, on his way back to Gryffindor tower, that he realized what Luna had said when she'd left.

 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 

Harry walked into the Great Hall feeling a bit frazzled. He'd very nearly been cornered by some very determined looking starry-eyed third year Ravenclaws, and had only just managed to escape. He half-walked, half-ran toward the Gryffindor table and plonked down beside Luna, setting his bag down beside him and trying to catch his breath. Ginny leaned around from her spot on Luna's other side and grinned at him.

 

"Back early from the fanclub meeting, I see."

 

"Shut up, Ginny."

 

"So what did you talk about? How _totally coo_ l that basilisk was? Or how _heavenly_ your _emerald green eyes_ are?"

 

"Shut up, Ginny."

 

"Did you tell them about your tattoo yet?"

 

Harry rolled his eyes. " _No_."

 

"Ooh, you've got a tattoo? What is it?" Luna asked, looking up from her toast. "And good morning, Harry!"

 

"Oh, uh, good morning to you too Luna." He glared at Ginny. "How did you manipulate such an absolute angel into liking you?"

 

Ginny shrugged. "What can I say, it's part of my charm."

 

"Oh it wasn't very hard for her Harry," Luna said serenely. "I was gone on her after that kiss. Completely smitten. That thing she does with her tongue-"

 

" _Yes_ , Luna, I get it, _moving on_."

 

Ginny cackled. Harry rolled his eyes.

 

"Back at it again? What a surprise," Hermione sat down in the seat opposite Ginny's. Ron settled down next to her and leaned over to punch Harry in the shoulder. "Is my baby sister giving you trouble?" 

 

" _Excuse_ you, I am a _legal adult_ -"

 

"Eh, just being her usual annoying self. Nothing I can't handle," Harry winked and grinned at Ron.

 

"Well, if you ever need anyone to give her a talking to, let me know," Ron cracked his knuckles and grinned back.

 

Hermione rolled her eyes at their blatant baiting and looked at Ginny. She was fuming. She sighed and helped herself to the bacon.

 

"Do I need to remind you, _Ron_ , of that time in second year when-"

 

"SO, Harry!" Ron's voice almost drowned out his sister's. Almost. "How are you doing mate?"

 

"You couldn't sit down for days. _Days_ -"

 

"Didn't see much of you yesterday-"

 

"I bet you _still_ tear up when you see a vacuum cleaner-"

 

"Did you and that Finch bloke hit it off then?"

 

Hermione looked up, interested. Even Ginny stopped her tirade on one of the many times she'd beaten Ron's arse - nothing new there, anyway. 

 

Harry smiled and shook his head, internally sighing. Ron and Hermione had been so helpful and supportive when he'd told them he thought he'd like to date boys too, but they'd also gotten it into their head that he needed to find someone. They thought he was, to put it simply, "lonely".

 

No idea where they'd got that idea from.

 

Ron grinned. "Fanboy, or just not your type?"

 

Harry rolled his eyes. Brandon Finch was one of the few people he hand't been set up with. He'd started dating him himself, making his own choice for once. "Not a _fanboy_ \- I wouldn't have gone out with him more than once if he was. He was nice, but I dunno. Something just didn't click, I suppose."

 

Hermione smiled softly at him. "It's OK, Harry. You'll find the right one in time."

 

Harry smiled at her, trying to make it seem natural. Would he, though? He'd come back from their date yesterday and sat by the lake and spent almost an hour wondering if there was something wrong with him. Would he ever find someone who he was compatible with? He knew he wanted something, but he didn't know what it was. It's even harder to meet expectations when you don't even know what they are. He didn't know what he was looking for. Lots of the set-ups, and even the three people he'd genuinely liked and taken out had had so many things in common with him. And yet, he always felt like something was missing. Like there could be something better. And he didn't know how he knew it. He didn't even know what the "something better" was. 

 

He didn't understand himself. And it was infuriating.

 

And then there was Brandon, who'd asked _him_ out and who he'd actually really liked, but then two weeks in he'd said he'd just been _experimenting_ and he'd concluded that he really _preferred_ to be straight after all, and Harry had felt more lost than ever. He'd thought he'd finally found someone he worked well with. He'd finally felt... _normal_. 

 

Thank goodness for Luna. She had showed up yesterday at the best possible moment and he loved her for it. Which reminded him.

 

"Hey Luna," he grimaced as she drew away from Ginny, who glared at him for interrupting them. Lovely. "Sorry, but I wanted to ask you. When you left yesterday, after the lake-"

 

Luna smiled. "Ah yes, I did manage to find the sweater Harry, thanks for asking! It was such a relief, puffskein fur isn't really cheap and I was running out-"

 

"Oh that's wonderful Luna," Harry suddenly felt a bit lost. "But that's not what I wanted to ask you."

 

"Oh?" Luna just kept smiling at him. "Sorry for interrupting then. Go on."

 

"Yes. Well. When you left, you said you were going to ask Ginny to cast Lumos for you."

 

"Oh yes, it was thanks to her that I managed to find it!" She grinned and turned to kiss Ginny's cheek, who promptly stopped glaring at Harry to give her an angelic smile. "Anytime, love."

 

Harry rolled his eyes at the pair. "Yes, but, is everything alright? Were you not able to cast you own? Are you OK, Luna?"

 

"Oh I'm perfectly fine, Harry."

 

"Oh." Harry was a bit taken aback. "Or, well, you could've asked me for help, you know. I was right there."

 

"I know I could've, Harry, you're my friend," she kept smiling her Luna smile and Harry grew more and more baffled. "But I needed Ginny's Lumos to feel safe."

 

Harry blinked, more lost than ever. "What?"

 

Luna blinked at him, and then seemed to understand something. "Oh, Harry, didn't you know? Everyone has a Lumos of their own."

 

Harry stared at her. "What? Really?" He shot a confused look at Hermione, who had only just turned toward them, her expression interested. "But...it's just a spell. A spell we learned in first year."

 

"Yes, but it's a spell that produces _light_. And everyone's light is different. Just as everyone's magic is different. Everyone's Lumos is unique, Harry. Have you not noticed?"

 

Harry shook his head, intrigued. Even Ron and Hermione had paused their conversation to listen. "I really haven't. How, though? How are they different?"

 

"Well," Luna seemed honestly surprised that he didn't know. "It feels different. I don't know how to describe it. It's just something you feel, I suppose." She shrugged. "I needed Ginny yesterday because I'm still a bit uncomfortable in the dark after Malfoy Manor and her Lumos makes me feel safe."

 

"The light makes you feel _safe_?" Hermione asked, but there was no sarcasm in her voice, only curiosity. "Does it really?"

 

Luna seemed even more surprised to see her small audience. "Well, yes, it does. I haven't really experienced many Lumos. You have to be pretty close too feel it, see. Ginny's feels...well, a bit like I feel when she kisses my forehead. Protected. Cared for. Daddy's makes me feel safe too. Like I'm in his arms. And Dean's felt like...a friend. And when the death eaters used to cast it in the dungeons at the Manor, it felt...cold. And cruel. I didn't even know light _could_ be cruel until then." The group exchanged subdued looks. Ginny placed a hand on her shoulder. But Luna didn't appear fazed by what she'd said. She just looked thoughtful. "I'm surprised none of you knew about it, actually."

 

"It's such an interesting concept though, Luna," Hermione said earnestly. Luna seemed shocked by her enthusiasm, but pleased nonetheless. "I'm sure there would be articles about it in the library, if we know where to look! Oh, I wonder how much they've researched this, it's so _fascinating_ -"

 

Ron laughed. "It is pretty neat, Hermione, but you can't run off to the library now, we have class!"

 

Hermione pouted. "But it'll only be a minute-"

 

"Come on, love. I'll come sit with you tonight, _after_ class, alright?"

 

Harry turned away as Ron pecked her cheek and she smiled. He was happy for his friends, but sometimes seeing them so happy together, in their own little world, just... _hurt_.

 

He was such a horrible friend.

 

"I've got to get to class too. I'll see you guys later." He smiled faintly at the four of them, picked up his things and left.

 

He didn't catch the worried looks Luna and Ginny exchanged when he had gone.

 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 

Saturday afternoons were about as pleasant as it got, Harry thought. He felt well rested, there were no classes to rush to, and he could let go of the stress of passing his N.E.W.T's and perusing career options for a few hours, and just let himself breathe.

 

As he walked past the greenhouses, waving at a swaying flutterby bush, he looked toward the Lake. And stopped in his tracks.

 

Luna was sitting on the shore. With _Draco Malfoy_.

 

For a second, Harry didn't know what to think. He didn't know what he felt. It wasn't anger, no, he'd let go of all the anger he'd hoarded over Malfoy and Bellatrix and all the other Death Eaters when he'd realized it didn't make anything better - so much had been lost in the war, too much. Blame and anger and resentment had only poisoned the few hours he'd had to grieve. And so he'd just let it all go.

 

He wasn't angry that it was Malfoy, even, because he'd been there, the day after the war, to help rebuild Hogwarts. They hadn't spoken a word to each other, had barely looked at each other, even when they were working on the same wall of the library. But he had been there to help. And that would never be enough to forgive him, but it was enough to to realize he _wanted_ another chance, whether he deserved it or not. And who was Harry to deny him that, when he'd been given so many more chances and so much more faith than he'd deserved. After all he'd done.

 

He realized he hadn't even thought about Malfoy in a very long time. After reconstruction and trials and half a summer sleeping at the burrow, he'd come back to Hogwarts and life had gone on. It was strange how Malfoy had been such a large, if unwanted, part of his life before the war, always going out of his way to make Harry's life just a little bit worse. And now, it was like he didn't even matter.

 

Harry didn't know if that was a good thing or not. He sincerely doubted that Malfoy was up to anything - he was under strict supervision after trial, after all - but maybe he should keep an eye on him anyway?

 

It appeared Luna had seen him standing there and internally monologuing, because she was waving him over. He noticed Malfoy (was he holding a _rock?_ ) stiffen a bit beside her and was about to turn around when she waved him over again, more forcefully. Malfoy looked at him for a second, shrugged, and looked away again, shoulders stiff as ever.

 

Harry walked over to them.

 

"Afternoon, Luna. Malfoy." He tried to sound as unaffected as possible. "How are you?"

 

Malfoy ignored him, staring at the water like a statue. Luna beamed up at him. "Hello, Harry! I'm fine, thank you! Isn't it a glorious afternoon? The atmosphere is just so delicious!"

 

Harry settled down beside her and smiled faintly. "Yes, I suppose it is."

 

"I could breathe it in forever." She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Malfoy shot an amused look at Harry, who stared back, startled. Malfoy looked away quickly with a frown, as if suddenly understanding what he'd just done.

 

" _Wait,_ " Harry's brain cried, " _I didn't mean to blow you off, I was just surprised, look back at me so I can-_ "

 

Luna's eyes flew open. "Oh, Draco!" the boy in question started. Harry snickered and Malfoy glared daggers at him. His smile faltered and he turned away. _I keep messing this up._

 

Luna ignored them. "Weren't you just telling me about skipping stones on the lake?"

 

Malfoy turned over the rock in his hand and looked out at the water, smiling faintly. "Yes, I was, before Potter so rudely barged in on us."

 

"Hey!" Harry scowled. "Luna called me over-"

 

"But yes, Vince and Greg and I have spent many a Saturday morning here, skipping stones over the water. The giant squid even made an appearance a few times." Malfoy grinned at some distant memory Harry couldn't see. "Vince always got his to go the farthest. I still don't know how he managed to get the stone to skip _six_ times, the tosser, I've never managed more than four.

 

"We never came here after fourth year. Those were good times." He tossed his rock out onto the water with a flick of his wrist. It hit the water with a crash and a splash, and sank underneath the surface. Malfoy sighed. "I suppose some talents never do come back. Some things are lost forever - they only stay alive in memory."

 

Harry's face was carefully composed. He'd not flinched once when Malfoy had mentioned his _Death Eater friends who'd tried to kill him_. And then died. Well, one of them had. He looked at Malfoy's wistful, sad expression and wondered if this boy, this man, deserved another chance. There was nothing special about him. He hadn't saved a life, he hadn't sacrificed his own. He was just...ordinary. A human being, who'd suffered fear and loss and heartbreak just like all the rest of them. A human being who'd tried to do the right thing. Like they all had. Well, at least Malfoy had stopped being a little shit about it.

 

And maybe that was more reason for redemption than anything else.

 

"I can get five bounces," he blurted out. Malfoy looked up at him sharply. Harry gulped and plowed on. "I've gotten five bounces. Loads of times. I've only ever skipped stones alone, though. Back in fifth year. It...helped me think."

 

Malfoy only continued to look at him, his face unreadable. Luna, oblivious to (or perhaps deliberately ignoring) any tension between them, clapped her hands cheerfully! "Oh, that's wonderful, Harry, then you can teach us! You do remember how to, don't you?"

 

Harry blinked. "Yeah, I guess so." He looked around for a good stone, smooth and flat, picked it up, and tossed it at the water in a practiced move. It bounced three times before disappearing. Luna laughed in delight.

 

And so Harry Potter was somehow roped into teaching Luna Lovegood and Draco Malfoy how to skip stone over the great lake. He didn't even know what his life was anymore. 

 

Of course, the first ten or thirty tries went horribly. Draco was growing increasingly frustrated. Luna stood tensed, determined.

 

"It's all in the wrist, you two! Just watch again, closely." He tossed his rock and it bounced one, two, three, four times before sinking to the depths. Luna grinned in delight before frowning in concentration, preparing to throw her own stone. Malfoy rolled his eyes. "I _know_ how it's done, Potter. I've been doing this twice as long as you. I just need to remember."

 

"Well maybe if you'd let me _help_ , it might refresh your memory."

 

"Please, let _you_ help? All your voice is doing is giving me a headache." He threw his stone and watched in badly masked dismay as it sank. "I'll get it right. I don't need you."

 

Harry shrugged, swallowing down his irritation. He didn't even know why he was irritated, it was just Malfoy being Malfoy, after all-

 

"YES! I did it!" He turned to see Luna doing a happy dance. He exchanged a look of bewilderment with Malfoy, who turned back to the lake quickly with a frown, as if annoyed with himself. Harry turned back to Luna. "Did you get it to skip, then?"

 

"Yes! TWICE!" She jumped up and down. "Oh, this is so exciting!" Suddenly, she stilled, eyes widening. "But oh, I promised Ginny I'd meet her at the pitch at 7, and it's five to! I've got to run boys, I'll see you later! Have fun, you two!" She gathered up he things in a whirlwind of blonde hair and ran toward the Quidditch pitch, never looking back. The wind carried her laughter back over to them.

 

Harry was confused. Should he look over at Malfoy or just ignore him. He finally settled on the former and looked his way, only to find Malfoy already looking at him. His face was as unreadable as ever.

 

"You don't have to pretend to tolerate me, Potter." Harry couldn't tell what he was thinking. At all. It was so _frustrating_.

 

"You put on a pretty good show for Luna. But then, she always was good at seeing what she wanted to see." Malfoy's mouth was a sour line. "This is me telling you that you don't need to continue this charade when your friends aren't around. You don't even need to continue it when they are around, but I know how much your image matters to you. So, it's whatever."

 

Malfoy walked a few steps away from him and looked out at the water. "You can go now."

 

Harry didn't even know what to say. He didn't know what part of that monologue he was supposed to address - the dismissal of Luna's opinion, the implication that he cared about what people thought, the assumption that he was _pretending_ to _tolerate_ Malfoy, when he'd been trying (and failing miserably) to be polite to the git _all evening_ and he didn't even know _why..._

_You don't need to continue this charade..._

 

"Cast Lumos."

 

Malfoy looked at him, brow furrowed. Apparently he was too surprised to keep ignoring him. His hair glowed pale in the moonlight. "What?"

 

Harry cleared his throat, hoping he wasn't overstepping any lines, (which was ridiculous because they weren't even friends, how would they have any lines,) and repeated himself. "Cast Lumos."

 

Malfoy's confusion was slowly turning to annoyance. "And _why_ am I obliged to do anything you say, Potter? It isn't even that dark. You can't be _that_ blind, with your glasses on."

 

Harry shrugged. "You don't have to. But...I thought it would be interesting. To see how yours felt."

 

Malfoy looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Maybe he had. He had _no_ idea where these words were coming from. He forced down the panic rising up inside him and kept looking at Malfoy. Waiting.

 

Malfoy blanked out his expression again and rolled his eyes. "If you've lost your only neuron and need someone to help find it, you need only ask, Potter. Merlin knows what havoc you'd cause without it." 

 

In the past hour, Harry had gotten a bit better at seeing past that unreadable mask. Or maybe Malfoy was just getting worse at putting it on. Whatever it was, at the moment, he looked like he didn't understand what was going on, but was curious despite himself. He pulled out his wand.

 

" _Lumos._."

 

He saw the light first, glowing soft and bright in the evening light. And then he felt the magic wash over him, and he felt...

 

_Calm._

 

"What are you smiling about, Potter?"

 

Since the conversation three days ago, Harry had been making a conscious effort to notice people's Lumos. Ginny, Hermione, Luna and Ron had sat with him and they'd cast one by one, so they could see how each of their's looked and felt. Luna was right - their light did look different when you _looked_. To him, Ron's felt like jokes and flying and family. Hermione's was a hug - comfort, and friendship, and love. Luna's felt like treacle tart, sweet and warm and filling. Ginny's was fiery, almost like an adrenaline rush - excitement and adventure, like the first time he'd flown on a broom. But Luna had described it as safe, secure. And Ron and Hermione described hers a bit differently too, which led him to think that maybe different people's Lumos might feel different to different people. Interesting.

 

His friends had described his as _winning a chess game and laughing with a mate_ (Ron, with a grin), and _like reading my favourite book in front of the fire on Christmas_ (Hermione, with a laugh), and _like catching the snitch_ (Ginny, with a wink - _kinda...exhilerating_.), and _like having a friend_ (Luna, with a smile. She was going to make him cry, one day, he just knew it.)

 

And Seamus has cast one in Charms the other day when he'd dropped a quill under their desk, and it had felt like pillow fights in the dorms and breathless laughter. Professor McGonagall's, when she'd caught him wandering the corridors last night after curfew, had felt like patience and cleverness and a hint of exasperation. 

 

And Draco's felt like _calm_.

 

Harry opened his eyes. He hadn't even realized he'd closed them. Malfoy was staring at him, wand still out. The annoyance was gone, replaced by curiosity, and maybe some wonder. When he noticed Harry was looking as him, his face hardened again. His cheeks went a little pink. "I asked, what are you smiling about, Potter?"

 

Harry grinned even wider at him. He took a step toward Malfoy, who regarded him warily, and pulled out his own wand and pointed it to the sky. " _Lumos_."

 

Malfoy looked confused for a second, his hand tightening around his own wand when he heard Harry cast. Then, he let out the softest of gasps and stilled, eyes wide.

 

"What does it feel like, Malfoy?"

 

Malfoy blinked and looked at him, really looked at him, almost like he didn't know what he was doing. Harry held his breath. 

 

"It feels like catching the snitch."

 

For a second, Harry was confused. Wasn't that exactly what Ginny had said? But she'd been _cheeky_ about it, like she'd found the truth of it funny. And so had he, for that matter.

 

And here was Malfoy, his eyes shining suspiciously bright before he closed them, a small smile on his face, like he couldn't help himself. Harry stared at him.

 

He didn't even know what his life was anymore. And maybe, just maybe, that was a good thing.

 

 **Fin.** (I've always wanted to use that! :D)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for stumbling across my story and actually finishing it! I hope you liked it!
> 
>  
> 
> This was inspired by [this art on tumblr](http://saltkat.tumblr.com/post/146888518346/lumos-ok-this-has-been-in-my-drafts-for-months) by @saltkat !! Her art is so beautiful, go check it out !!!
> 
>  
> 
> This was initially going to be a short drabble and then it became this. Whoops.
> 
>  
> 
> Constructive criticism and tips are more than welcome. Comments and kudos are my writing fuel. Don't be a silent reader!
> 
>  
> 
> Also, if you'd like to, check out my tumblr, @downtothe-tee !
> 
> Love you all! Have a great day!! <3


End file.
